I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
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Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
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AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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