the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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