Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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