I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
