covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
