Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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