bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
