In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Randomize
