I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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