it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
