Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
