That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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