yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
