It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
