Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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