So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize