Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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