k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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