she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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