Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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