There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
