So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
