first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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