that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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