Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
