i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
