Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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