I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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