so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
