were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
