Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
