Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
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mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
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lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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