i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
