The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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