What a fucking waste of an outfit
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
