cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
