I want to make a zoo with you.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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