I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
