try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
