I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
