I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
