WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
