pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
