The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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