So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
