From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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