I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
