and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
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I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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