Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
