Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
