"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
