What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
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