do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
false alarm. still invincible.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
