Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
