I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
