I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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