I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
