from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I had to cum in my sink.
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