'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
