You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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