its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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