How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Randomize
