i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
