Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
