I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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