What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
