he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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