at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
