there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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