just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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